He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
