Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
