I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
