life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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