woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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