Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
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I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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