Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize