did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
