Your tits are I can't wait for
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
