I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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