That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Randomize
