Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
