Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
