he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize