Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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