We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
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i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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