The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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