Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
