we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Mom said you looked used
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
