"it" just moved
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
