so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
