so that wasnt chicken after all
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
