You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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