i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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