My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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