Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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