so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
