the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
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You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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