I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize