another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
