"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I met the friendliest cop last night
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
