i think my tv is drunk
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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