ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
