In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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