eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
