five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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