I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
