Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
