is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I will be naked everywhere
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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