I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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