he wants to bone in the snuggie
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
