I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
