It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
