sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
