just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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