So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize