You're my little dorito
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
