I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
