gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
