it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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