I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
