Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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