is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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