My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
