do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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