Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
