The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
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I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
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Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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