Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
