I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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