He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Never underestimate the power of titties
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