dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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