You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
