I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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