I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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