We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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